...lately I've been thinking...

I guess last week was the hardest in my life. Not even week just last 4 days. 

-What do people do when they find out they have one of most serious desies? 

-What do they feel when they are alone with this news?

-How to tell about it to your family and friends?

-What to do with this sickness?

-How not to feel misery?

-How would people behave when they would know?

-Would tehy treat you like sick person?

I never knew answers to those questions...never did...but now i do. I do because i have same situation. 

-Was it good to find out about it? 

-Should i sue ukranian medicine for bad and old maschines thet might lie? 

-Should i just kill myself and make everybodys life easier? 

-Should i go get drunk? 

But it won't help....

OR SHOULD I TRUST HIM?

Telling the truth, lately i wasn't that good christian. I quit smoking...yes it's good..but when i feel weak i start to do that again. Yes i quit drinking... but i still can start do it easily. Ones when i was on my first year of working in Hope Center. Atnight we were talking with Graham Michel, and he told me just ask HIM to come to your heart. I was small and i really needed some proof...so instead of that i asked him to show me sing that he is more than me.. that he is reall. After that for 4 year i was kinda christian...why kinda, probably because i pretended to be one. I want to be reall christian, bust something in my heart did not let God to come in. 

So know i got proof that I'm not perfect... that I'm weak. And all i need now is to believe and be patient. 

It was good lesson...