3 problems

yes i do! my last days was worst days ever happen to me! I was in hospital examining my body for cancer( i was told in Kerch i have it) and i had exams to univ and the worst thing i was alone with all of it....

I was keeping a secret about my kinda cancer problem, but from last days i discovered that not alot people cares, so i don't care if everyone knows.

I had my exams to univ yesterday, which i failed. I was not thinking about univ that day, cause i got envelop with cancer results. I got chanse to redo my exam and i did it today, i was the only of 30 studets to get in.. sad thing it doesnt even make me happy.

well about third problem, i was just alone. Noone i need was here or at least near... how would u feel to have result of ur cancer in ur hands and open it alone without noone around... i was scared to hell...i'm still

yes i didnt open em...and as i write it now don't know if i will but....

...lately I've been thinking...

I guess last week was the hardest in my life. Not even week just last 4 days. 

-What do people do when they find out they have one of most serious desies? 

-What do they feel when they are alone with this news?

-How to tell about it to your family and friends?

-What to do with this sickness?

-How not to feel misery?

-How would people behave when they would know?

-Would tehy treat you like sick person?

I never knew answers to those questions...never did...but now i do. I do because i have same situation. 

-Was it good to find out about it? 

-Should i sue ukranian medicine for bad and old maschines thet might lie? 

-Should i just kill myself and make everybodys life easier? 

-Should i go get drunk? 

But it won't help....

OR SHOULD I TRUST HIM?

Telling the truth, lately i wasn't that good christian. I quit smoking...yes it's good..but when i feel weak i start to do that again. Yes i quit drinking... but i still can start do it easily. Ones when i was on my first year of working in Hope Center. Atnight we were talking with Graham Michel, and he told me just ask HIM to come to your heart. I was small and i really needed some proof...so instead of that i asked him to show me sing that he is more than me.. that he is reall. After that for 4 year i was kinda christian...why kinda, probably because i pretended to be one. I want to be reall christian, bust something in my heart did not let God to come in. 

So know i got proof that I'm not perfect... that I'm weak. And all i need now is to believe and be patient. 

It was good lesson...

definition of the best trip ever....

Yes... i just had awesome trip. I'm happy that i had chance to go to Kiev, and more than that with one of the closest people Matt.

From beginning Andrey Shpigunov was supposed to go to Kiev with Matt, but as figured he was really busy, so i was asked and after less then second thinking i agreed...

Train was kinda fun. We were playing Phase 10(as usually) and walking in Djankoy and drinking kvas. 23 hours ran really fast! When we got to Kiev, magical computer told us that there no sits for train that day... So we figured that we can easily plan 2 days in Kiev.


When we got to kinda church-hotel where we stayed almost for free we changed our clothes to official one's and went to Belorussia Embassy which reminded me of market with sunflower seeds. We just payed and got our visa easely. So most important goal of trip were done! After we met my old school frind and were having i guess the most expensive fast food lunch ever! For almost nothing we paid 130 grn! Anyway after we changed back to nrmal clothes and went for football game of 2 best teams in Ukraine (Dinamo Kiev - Metalist Kharkov). The game was really great, but we were siting in Dinamo Fans area, no matter that i cheer for Metalist. Anyway we enjoyed the game and went to have great night.


After great night i was ready for a run...defenetely Matt wasn't so he stayed. It was nice and warm outside, so after we got ready we went to walk through Kiev... we visited several places and had good lunch, went to my univ and got sunglasses. The day was already freat, but in the evening we got chance to see our great frind Ira(one of interpreters in camp)and it was best end of our trip...

But...we had one more adventure - traveling back to Kerch. In the evening our cab was full with people, but by the morning we got rid of them and it became like small guys kingdom! We weren't afraid to pfart there, cause we knew we won't afend anyone with that, and we were playing phase 10 and pilow fight. It was really good time in train....

Ok we finally got to Kerch and i guess it was one of the best trip for lat year...

The Most Important People In My Life...

You know few days ago i was sitting and thinking about what would happen if I won'g go to work as interpreter to Hope Center in summer 2006.

First i would not know English as i do now.

I probably would not have all the friends from different countries.

I would not know God, and people who changed my life. People i respect and love. About them i will write today...

Jim and Shari Hunt

During my first year of working in Hope Center, one really lovely couple of Americans stayed in Kerch for all year. It was Jim and Shari. Right after the camps were done, i started to come to Hope Center to visit my merican frinds. Almost from beginning we became really close with them. They were really hospitable with me and they always had Coke for me( i love coke). They were the first people who really explained me who God is, and after we had bible classes on book of John. They became like Gandparets to me, and even after they left to USA i feel there love inside my heart. I love you both aot.

Tommy Coppers

Tommy is one of those people with whom everybody can find something to talk about. That is what i did in one of the evenings, or better say nights in Hope Center when he came here with Azusa Pacific Team.
We were talking about life, and really he was the first person i told all my deepest secrets, because i felt that i can trust him. He was only 20 by that moment, but his wisdom and knowledge were amazing. From that moment i found my brother, who support me till this moment.
After the team left i really thought that i would never see them again, but in one year Tommy told that he would come At that time i almost finished my first year of education. He came and kinda turned my life in different way: he was telling me about bible, explained to me a lot of stuff, thanx to him i quit smoking and drinking. He really helped me to become a better person.
Now i really feel like i have my older brother, who can teach me, explain to me and just be my friend. I really love ya man! Thanks for everything!

The Gaw's

It would be probaly so hard to write all the help this family gave me, all love they showed me. Everything started really awekward. Me and Yana(my ex-friend) came to camp with Anya(interpreter). She told that there is new american family came. We thought that we should got to know them better or at least just see them for first time. When we came Me and Yana were eally afraid to come and tell hi to Matt who was working with he trees by that moment. But them we just figured that we have nothing to loose and i guess we did right choise. That day found my new part of family. During the year and a half that i know them, they hekped me with alot of stuff. The gave me advises in diffficult situations, they saved me from my deppression, they were just that friends that i have been searching all my life. And now i'm writing this blog in there house, there computer and feel that it's right to be here. Thanx guys for everything! I really love you all.

Well i guess thats it, this people helped me to be as I'm now.

So isn't i'm cute))

It was good choice....

So i'm in Simpferopol now siting in inet cafe and feeling really happy that i moved to Kerch. Few days ago i figured that i can enter Univ this year and to the one i wanted. So i feel really exited. I will be movie and Tv director! So awesome! So if you are my friend please be happy for me!

Love u all!

For the people i love and miss...

This post will be about my dream that wont come true this summer. About USA, or actually about the people i dreamed to see: Serious but funny Megan, insane Chris, loving Michael and Ryan, crazy Tyler, Oduvanchik and Chris Little, talented Web and James, most amazing girls ever Charisse, Sarah, Laurissa, Mary, Mariah.




Last year i was living with a hope to see the i care about a lot. DC team, Camp 4 or part of my family. Lat summer they really showed me a lot of fun,taught me a lot of things and i really had amazing time with them.



By the time they were supposed to come i knew almost everyone(except Tyler and Nick), and waiting for this team was so hard... i counted everyday and finally they came. I don't know why but i was dressed like I'm just got out of house for mentally retarded people. And when i saw them coming out of plain it was something i even can't describe.




To tell the truth i really didn't think i would be able to work as interpreter in camp 4 because my brother was leaving and i went with him to be the last Ukrainian to tell him bye. After i came back crazy times began.



Me and Yana( other interpreter) ate all Megan's Nuttela and peanut butter. We ate all of snack the brought with them self and you know as for me i feel kinda shame when i ask people i know not long time for food, but with them it was different. I felt like my family came. and it was awesome feeling. I would never forget Web's song, or how he was "playing" on gutar! It was really awesome. Or going naked to the see at night with Tyler and Oduvanchik. Playing Go Fish with girls. Evening discos and actuall really disco with team(i steel feel bad about what i did there, sorry) and the carnival. I guess this is that kind of emotions that would never be forgotten. Thank you guess for that.




Another surprise was that i was the one who is going to Yalta with the team after the camp. OMG it was one the best trips too. Being with the team outside the camp ids really different. We were hanging in Simferopol and Yalta! It was just really nice to be there and got chance to know people you love better.




My heart is really broken now as i know that i wont see most of the team this year. But my favorite Sobaka and Sarachka will come here, and you know somehow it makes me feel like they will bring love of all the team and show it to kids...



I'm really happy God got us together in Ukraine and I'm really happy for everyone of you. I wish that next year for you would be the best ever and especially I'm happy for Megan and Chris! U would be the best parents ever.